Mom Talents

Being a mom is my dream job.  I make people for crying out loud!  The only catch is that I assume the responsibility of raising said people and turning them into upstanding individuals capable of taking on the next generation of our world.

No biggie.

These adorable little people of mine think I'm the greatest, even though I am clearly not.  They also drive me bananas, and still I love them more than life.  And gummy bears.  Fun fact: As I wrote that last sentence, Fiona was busy emptying an entire bottle of body wash into the shower.

Not kidding.  Yet another sacrifice to the shower gods.
 
I'm no pro at this mom business, but I do have 7 years of experience.

Throughout those years I have discovered some hidden talents. (I use the term loosely.)  Talents that only a mother could appreciate.  Special skills that aid in my survival.

Here are a few of my "Mom Talents":

I am the queen of the one-wipee diaper change.  Yes, I can efficiently change a poopy diaper using a single baby wipe.

I can make a grilled cheese sandwich (my fave) and hold a baby at the same time.

I can sleep on a mere one-foot wide section of my bed when necessary.  And you'd be surprised how often it is necessary.

Case in point.

I never claimed to be a sleeping beauty.
Plus I'm a drooler.  Just keepin' it real.

I understand several different languages, including Two-year-old, Whining, Imitation sign language, and my favorite, Grunt-and-point.  (I truly hate the grunt and point.)

I throw a decent birthday party.  Like this one.  Or this.  And this one too.

I have the ability to remain calm in any situation.

Ha!  Kidding about that last one.  But wouldn't that be grand! Cue flashback of my most recent trip to the grocery store.  It's been nominated for three awards: Biggest tantrum in the history of tantrums, Most mortifying public experience, and Worst possible outcome for refusing to buy strawberries.

Oy Vey!

"I'd like to thank all the little people."  One in particular.

I can just imagine the entire store breaking into cheering and applause when we left.  Seriously though, has that ever happened in real life?


What are some of your mom talents?

Musings

Lack of adult human interaction plus excessive contemplation results in this blog post.  These are the thoughts currently taking up real estate in my overactive mind.  Enjooooy the riiiiide!


• Marshall is utterly spoiled. Each night he gets a prime spot on my pillow while I carefully sneak beside him onto whatever's left.  I could stare at him sleeping all night...if I didn't fall asleep myself in the process.

That's okay.

It actually seems sort of creepy now that I think about it. I wouldn't want to end up like the old mother from "Love You Forever," climbing into my grown son's bedroom window at night.

*Shutter.*

This, however, melts my heart.

• I'm a bit jealous of kangaroos.  Sometimes I wish I could carry my kids around safely and hands-free in a little built-in pouch.
 
Wait.
 
I just remembered a certain 9 months that couldn't end soon enough.  Never mind.
 
Still, I wouldn't mind looking down at this sweet face 24/7.

 

 

• I am so glad that phases are just that. Phases. I am dealing with a couple of real doozies right now.  Ellia has become obsessed with me.  I know I'm awesome (har har) but this girl will not leave my side.  If I could wear her she'd be totally cool with it.  She refuses to go anywhere without me, and consequently, I can go nowhere without her. Should I be flattered?

Oh, and if I break that rule?...Let's not even talk about it.

Meanwhile, I've become neurotic over the location of every writing utensil in our household.  Let's just say that my budding artist thinks that the world (i.e. the walls, my coffee table, the kitchen chairs, my tablecloth, her leggings, the couch...need I go on?) is her canvas. Goo-Gone is my new best friend.  Next to Ellia.

• Speaking of artists...

"The Three Bears" by Ellia, age 4

• I've taken the kids to six doctor/dentist appointments in the last three days.  No cavities. Woot woot!  But sweet Marshall has to have breathing treatments with a nebulizer four times a day to treat his Bronchiolitis.  Sounds made-up.

But isn't.

• As I caught the tail end of an episode of Full House around 2:30 in the morning, I realized that I will forever have a crush on Uncle Jesse.  I'm talking about his post mullet, pre Nicky and Alex days.  Also, TGIF was possibly one of the most exciting things about my childhood.  Huge fan over here!

This undoubtedly led to a You Tube search.  Small dose of 90's nostalgia anyone?


• Marshall received his baby blessing last Sunday.  We were pretty amused with ourselves when we realized afterwards that his entire vest was covered in tiny white crosses (a symbol we Mormons don't typically sport.)

He reminds me of an elderly temple worker, in the cutest possible way.

• Carlos went out of town on Thursday and left three boxes of Girl Scout cookies in his place.  Those cookies aren't as good as I remember.

Oh, who am I kidding?  All three boxes are gone.

And I may have snuck the last four Samoas into my room and literally hid them behind my pillow when the kids came in.  They just don't appreciate them the same way that I do, okay!

Don't judge me.
  

Un"egg"spected

This Easter I dealt with a few unexpected circumstances.  For example, I did not expect a moldy packet of cream cheese to throw off my plans.  I definitely did not expect to ride to church in the backseat of our car acting as a human straightjacket for my tantrum-throwing 4-year-old who refused to go to church that morning.  And I did not plan on giving a talk in primary after the previously mentioned child (who, by the way, I love unconditionally) "declined the privilege."  But some days that's just how things go.

The rest of the day made up for it.

I did expect to see these four adorable, happy faces when they saw that the Easter Bunny had come.  (Marshall could barely contain his enthusiasm.)

Yes, that's three, count 'em THREE finished Easter Baskets.
(Unlike last year.)

I expected the rush of excitement as the kids hunted for hidden Easter eggs with their cousins.

 

 

 

 

And I expected that they'd be worn out after a long day...

or possibly in sugar comas.



The previous night was spent decorating eggs.

Sister huddle

 

 

 

 Happy Easter!

Simple Pleasures

In the past few weeks we have experienced some of life's simple pleasures.


Like special breakfasts,

 

 

 

and dates with Dad.

 

 

Carlos got the girls corsages in an attempt to make up for our
Senior prom, where he failed to get me one 13 years ago.
I suppose he's forgiven.

Staying in a hotel,

 

 

especially when that hotel has an indoor pool.

Weirdos

Amazing views,

Seattle from The Great Wheel

and family bonding.

The perfect pair of jeans...

 

 

and the anticipation of a future sale.

:(

A brand new baby,

 

 

and three terrific big sisters.

 

 

 

And milk.  Thank heaven for milk.

Mission Accomplished

I had only three goals for the month of February:

1. Throw Ava an effortless birthday party.

Saturday, February 2

I really did it!  Aside from the birthday invitations, I fought all of my urges and did not spend a moment preparing anything for Ava's 7th birthday party.  I took her and a few friends to Denny's for a birthday breakfast without so much as a balloon to decorate.  (Not one balloon!)  So super easy, not to mention the cheapest party I've ever thrown.

 

 

 

Mission Accomplished.



2. Do not go into labor on Ava's birthday.

Wednesday, February 6

All day I could barely move without having a contraction, but Braxton Hicks and I are no strangers.  I spent much of the day trying not to pee my pants. (Lovely, I know.)  By the time we finished Ava's birthday dinner I was confident that my oldest and youngest would not be sharing a birthday.

Mission (barely) Accomplished.  (See Goal 3)



3. Have a healthy baby boy...with the help of an epidural.

Thursday, February 7

7:00 am- Wake up as usual to get Ava ready for school.
7:05 am- Contractions...Is this the real deal?
8:07 am- Yep, this is it. Make our way to the hospital.

....pain...anxiety...epidural...expressions of love for my anesthesiologist...

1:20 pm- Fall hopelessly in love! (this time with my baby)

Marshall Packer Wright made his way into our family.  (Yes, that's Packer, as in Greenbay Packers.  No one can ever accuse my husband of not being a die-hard fan.)  All my worries about having a son instantly vanished as I held my little boy in my arms.  Marshall is exactly where he belongs. I am head over heels with this kid.  Completely smitten.  Totally obsessed.  I've become a "mama"razzi, determined to capture every possible look his face is capable of making on camera.

What?  You'd love to see my plethora of photos?  Absolutely!

 

 

 

 

 

And you may recall my sleeping baby obsession...

 

 

 

Just a few more, I promise...

 



 

 

 

 

He's perfect.

Mission Accomplished.